Don't "waste time" on love -- invest in it instead!
Like any worthwhile venture, a healthy relationship requires time, energy, and intentional effort—but the returns are immeasurable.
When people think about investments, they often picture financial portfolios, retirement accounts, or property. But one of the most valuable and enduring investments you can make is in your relationships. Like any worthwhile venture, a healthy relationship requires time, energy, and intentional effort—but the returns are immeasurable.
Investing in your relationship doesn’t mean grand gestures or expensive vacations, though those can be meaningful. More often, it’s found in the everyday choices: making time to truly listen, showing appreciation, and choosing grace over criticism. It’s in putting down your phone to be fully present, in the quick hug before work, or the quiet check-in at the end of a long day.
Strong relationships don’t happen by accident. They are built over time, brick by brick, through communication, compromise, and commitment. Couples who make a habit of investing in their relationship—through date nights, honest conversations, or shared goals—build a deeper bond that can weather life’s inevitable storms.
Like a garden, a relationship that is nurtured will flourish. Without attention, even the strongest partnership can wither under the pressures of daily life. That’s why it’s essential to make your relationship a priority, even when life feels overwhelmingly busy.
Remember, you’re not just investing in your partner—you’re investing in a shared life, in a source of support and joy, and in the legacy you’re building together. Whether you’re dating, engaged, newlywed, or married for decades, it’s never too late to strengthen your foundation.
In a world where everything seems temporary, your relationship can be a lasting source of love and stability. Treat it with the care it deserves—and watch it grow.
It's not therapy, it's mentoring!
Our Mentoring Program can help you build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Relationship Mentoring vs. Counseling: What’s the Difference—and Why It Matters
When couples face challenges in their relationship, they often wonder: Should we see a counselor or find a mentor? While both can be valuable, it’s important to understand the difference—and how our Mentoring Program can help you build a stronger, healthier relationship.
Counseling: Healing from the Past
Counseling is led by a licensed professional who helps individuals or couples work through emotional pain, trauma, or deep-rooted issues. It often focuses on diagnosing and treating mental health challenges and is can be more clinical in nature. For couples experiencing significant emotional distress or unresolved trauma, counseling is an important step toward healing.
Mentoring: Building for the Future
Marriage mentoring, on the other hand, is not therapy. It’s a relationship-based, practical approach to strengthening your relationship by teaching skills and strategies that help couples grow together. In our program, you’ll be paired with trained volunteer mentors—married couples who have walked through life together and are passionate about encouraging others.
Our mentors don’t offer therapy or clinical advice. Instead, they listen, share from experience, and guide you through proven tools that help improve communication, conflict resolution, emotional connection, and more. The goal is to equip you with the skills you need to thrive, not just survive, in your relationship.
Why Choose Mentoring?
It’s Affordable. There is a $50 fee for the initial assessment, and there’s no cost to participate in our mentoring sessions. We believe strong relationships should be accessible to everyone. (We also have scholarships available if the $50 assessment is not within your budget!)
It’s Practical. We focus on real-life tools you can use immediately—not just insights, but action steps.
It’s Relational. You’ll walk with a mentor couple who’s been where you are—and made it through.
Whether you’re dating, engaged, newly married, navigating a difficult season, or just looking to grow stronger together, mentoring is a safe, supportive place to invest in your relationship.
Interested in Learning More?
Contact us today to find out how to get started with a mentor couple. Relationships and marriage are a journey—let’s walk it together!
A Great Relationship Isn't Just Luck
Behind every thriving relationship is a combination of effort, commitment, and intentionality—not just good luck!
It’s easy to look at a happy couple and think they’re just lucky. They seem to have it all: love, laughter, and a strong connection. But behind every thriving relationship is a combination of effort, commitment, and intentionality—not just good fortune.
At its core, a good relationship is built on a foundation of shared values, mutual respect, and consistent communication. These are not things that happen by accident. Couples who maintain a strong bond prioritize understanding each other’s needs, listening actively, and resolving conflicts constructively. This requires effort, vulnerability, and the willingness to grow together.
Trust is another key component that doesn’t come effortlessly. It’s earned through transparency, reliability, and honesty. Even small actions, like following through on promises or being present in the moment, contribute to building trust. This creates a sense of security that allows the relationship to flourish.
Additionally, happy relationships thrive because couples actively nurture their connection. They make time for each other, express appreciation, and invest in shared experiences. Whether it’s a weekly date night, supporting each other’s goals, or simply saying “I love you” every day, these intentional acts deepen the relationship over time.
Of course, challenges are inevitable. But strong couples view challenges as opportunities for growth, not as signs of failure. They work through difficulties as a team, learning from their mistakes and emerging stronger.
While external circumstances, like timing or life events, can play a role, a fulfilling relationship is largely the result of deliberate choices. Luck may help bring two people together, but it’s their daily efforts, attitudes, and actions that create lasting happiness. A good relationship isn’t found—it’s built, brick by brick, by two people committed to creating something beautiful together.
Don't Be "Spooked" By Conflict
Both researchers and counselors seem to agree some conflict is not only inevitable, it’s normal. And it could even be good for your marriage.
Some things in marriage are inevitable, like conflict.
But wait. Isn’t the point of marriage to avoid conflict? To live in marital bliss and peace, happily ever after?
It’s commonly thought the less you fight, the healthier your marriage. As a matter of fact, both researchers and counselors seem to agree some conflict is not only inevitable, it’s normal. And it could even be good for your marriage.
That word: conflict; it’s tricky. Some might be tempted to picture marital conflict as a knock-down, drag-out, throwdown of debate and insults in the effort to “win.”
But if we’re to thrive in our marriage, it’s necessary to reframe how we think about marital conflict.
Conflict is simply disagreement. It’s a temporary inability to see eye-to-eye. Sometimes it involves strong feelings. But in no way is conflict some kind of omen for dysfunction. It’s just gonna happen, even in the healthiest of marriages. It’s, well, inevitable.
Side note here: There’s something to be said about the frequency of conflict in your marriage. If you find yourselves constantly at odds with each other, this could spell trouble. And it’s a possible sign that either: A. You aren’t handling conflict in a healthy way, or B. Other dynamics are eating away at your marriage. If this is the case, it may be a good time to consider seeking help from a professional marriage counselor.
So when it does come around (and it will), every married couple is tasked with handling conflict in healthy ways.
BUT HOW DO YOU GET THERE? KEEP THESE IDEAS IN MIND:
You and your spouse wear the same jersey. You’re on the same team. Even teammates have different ideas of how to get the ball down the field. But at the end of the day, you both share the same goal: Resolve the issue at hand and keep your marriage strong.
Attack the problem instead of each other. In other words, keep the goal the goal. Nothing gets accomplished when you go after each other’s character. Avoid those four nasty responses to conflict described by researcher John Gottman: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.1 They kill communication and suck the life out of your marriage.
Be aware of how you speak in a conflict. Avoid using harsh start-ups, launching into a tirade with your emotions driving the boat. Don’t start sentences with “You…” Instead, use “I” statements to own your feelings and opinions.
This is going to require some listening on both your parts. Listening is key to working toward a resolution.2 Since you share the goal, you share in the solution. Listen to seek to understand the other person’s view, even if it doesn’t align with your own thinking.
Know when to forgive, and perhaps more importantly, when to ask for forgiveness. It deters the lingering effects of a conflict, even when a solution is found.3 Forgive and leave the offense there.
Quoted from First Things First
Would you enjoy being married to you?
Being an ideal spouse isn't about perfection; rather, it's a commitment to personal growth and continuous self-improvement.
Think about the answer to that question. You may surprise yourself with you answer.
In the quest for a fulfilling relationship, the spotlight often falls on the qualities one desires in a partner. However, a crucial yet overlooked aspect is becoming the kind of person that would be a great spouse. It's not just about finding the right match but evolving into the right partner.
Being an ideal spouse isn't about perfection; rather, it's a commitment to personal growth and continuous self-improvement. It starts with self-awareness – understanding one's strengths, weaknesses, and the willingness to address areas that could be nurtured.
Ultimately, being the kind of person that would be an amazing partner involves embodying the values and qualities one seeks in a partner. It's a journey of self-discovery, self-love, and a commitment to fostering a relationship that thrives on mutual respect, understanding, and shared aspirations. As we strive to be the best version of ourselves, we create a fertile ground for a flourishing and enduring partnership.
Your Marriage Is A Gift
Being married is a gift because it transforms individual stories into a shared narrative, weaving a tapestry of love, growth, and companionship that stands the test of time.
Marriage is often described as a journey, a shared adventure between two individuals navigating the twists and turns of life together. While it may have its challenges, being married is undeniably a precious gift that keeps on giving. In a world that constantly changes, the stability and companionship found in a marriage are invaluable.
Marriage provides a unique support system that extends beyond mere companionship. It is a partnership that weathers life's storms together, offering solace and encouragement in times of need. The shared responsibilities and collaborative decision-making create a bond that strengthens with each passing day. The joy of celebrating victories and the comfort of facing defeats together make the journey richer and more meaningful.
In marriage, the simple moments become treasures – a shared glance, a quiet understanding, or a shared laughter that transcends words. These moments knit a tapestry of shared experiences, forming a strong foundation for a lasting connection. The deep emotional intimacy cultivated in marriage is a rare and beautiful gift that enriches the lives of both partners.
Ultimately, being married is a gift because it transforms individual stories into a shared narrative, weaving a tapestry of love, growth, and companionship that stands the test of time. It's a journey worth cherishing, a gift that keeps on giving, reminding us of the beauty in togetherness and the strength found in a lifelong commitment.
You can beat the odds, we can teach you how!
Mentoring through Great Marriages is a powerful tool in preventing divorce by teaching communication, conflict resolution, and building trust.
Marriage is a beautiful journey that two individuals embark upon with dreams of lifelong companionship, shared joys, and enduring love. However, the road is not always smooth, and challenges can test even the strongest of unions. In recent years, divorce rates have been a cause for concern, but there's a ray of hope shining through - mentoring. Mentoring through Great Marriages is a powerful tool in preventing divorce by teaching communication, conflict resolution, and building trust.
You can beat the odds when it comes to divorce, and Great Marriages can teach you the skills to keep your marriage strong!
One of the most common issues that couples face is a breakdown in communication. Mentoring provides a safe and neutral space where couples can learn the art of effective communication. Our trained Mentor Couples guide you in active listening, expressing emotions constructively, and practicing empathy— these are key skills in preventing divorce!
Every marriage encounters conflicts; it's a natural part of any relationship. Mentoring teaches couples conflict resolution techniques that enable them to address disagreements in healthy ways. Learning these crucial skills can prevent the build-up of resentment and the erosion of love.
Trust forms the foundation of any successful marriage. When trust is broken due to infidelity, secrecy, or other breaches, the relationship is at risk. Our Mentors teach couples to address the root causes of trust issues and work towards creating an environment where trust can be restored over time.
One of the best ways to prevent divorce is to learn these skills before your marriage even begins. Great Marriages also works with premarital couples to do exactly that! Many marriages falter when reality doesn't meet the unrealistic expectations set during the honeymoon phase. Mentoring helps couples set realistic expectations for their relationship and creates a strong foundation for the future. By acknowledging that marriage requires effort, compromise, and ongoing commitment, couples can navigate challenges with greater resilience.
Marriage is a dynamic partnership that requires effort and dedication from both partners. While divorce rates might be unsettling, mentoring offers a glimmer of hope. Every marriage encounters storms, but with the right tools and guidance, couples can weather them together and emerge stronger than ever before.
Marriage can be a roller coaster - enjoy the ride!
Just like a roller coaster, marriage is a thrilling and dynamic experience that takes individuals through a myriad of emotions and experiences.
Just like a roller coaster, marriage is a thrilling and dynamic experience that takes individuals through a myriad of emotions and experiences. From the exhilarating highs of shared accomplishments and heartwarming moments to the challenging lows of disagreements and trials, the analogy of a roller coaster resonates profoundly.
The twists and turns of a roller coaster symbolize the unpredictability that often characterizes a marital relationship. Much like embarking on a roller coaster, entering into marriage requires courage, a willingness to embrace uncertainty, and the ability to hold onto one another during the turbulent times. Marriage is meant to be an adventure, a journey of exploration where couples can discover new facets of themselves and their partners.
The notion of "enjoying the ride" encourages couples to not just endure the ups and downs but to actively find joy in every aspect of their shared journey. Just as roller coasters are designed to provide excitement, couples can find excitement in the growth they experience individually and as a team. By maintaining a positive perspective, focusing on communication, and cultivating mutual respect, couples can navigate the twists and turns of married life with a sense of anticipation and joy, making the roller coaster of marriage an exhilarating and rewarding ride.
Want to Leave a Legacy? Be a Mentor!
The greatest untapped resource to save marriages and strengthen relationships is couples with solid marriages who are willing to invest in other couples by sharing their experiences.
Have you ever wondered what it takes to be a mentor couple for Great Marriages?
The greatest untapped resource to save marriages and strengthen relationships is couples with solid marriages who are willing to invest in other couples by sharing their experiences.
We invite couples who are passionate about marriage to use their gifts, abilities, and life experience to come alongside and encourage couples to grow in their relationships with each other.
Our mentor couples have experienced trials and tribulations in their own marriages and wish to share with others how they were able to work through problems and grow stronger both individually and as a couple.
Mentor couples see the benefits of giving their time to assist others in enriching their marriages. They are not paid staff members but volunteers.
A key distinction is that we are mentors, not certified counselors or therapists.
Most mentor couples do not recognize their potential to serve as mentors, but are identified by others as having a loving, committed marriage.
Prepare and Enrich
A mentor couple serves as a resource for couples who seek guidance and direction to address particular problems in marriage or a relationship. Mentors are trained in the Prepare/Enrich curriculum on various skills like communication, conflict resolution, asking for forgiveness, etc.
They conduct 6-10 sessions with couples who request help. These sessions are designed to teach and allow practice in basic skills which enable them to openly communicate, and enrich, nurture, and build a life-long relationship.
Mentor Requirements
A mentor couple does not have to have a perfect marriage, but should be a couple who is willing to share their experience and dedication to a lifelong commitment with others. We ask that couples be married 15+ years and be willing to invest time and energy in helping other couples. Great Marriages trains all mentors and provides the space and resources to help others.
Process to become a Great Marriages mentor:
1. Each potential mentor couple must complete the Prepare & Enrich online assessment, the same assessment that we have those asking for help take.
2. Potential mentor couples meet with our lead mentor couple for an interview.
3. Attend one-day training class to learn how to facilitate the Prepare & Enrich curriculum.
4. Attend quarterly Mentor Appreciation Nights as “continuing education”.
You can't change your partner, you can only change yourself.
This fundamental truth about relationships underscores the idea that while we may wish to mold our partners to fit our desires or expectations, genuine transformation begins within ourselves.
If you feel like your relationship needs to improve, you have to focus on what you can change, and it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking “if my partner did better” or “if my partner would change this”. However, you cannot control anyone but yourself, so the change has to start with you. This fundamental truth about relationships underscores the idea that while we may wish to mold our partners to fit our desires or expectations, genuine transformation begins within ourselves.
Attempting to change a spouse often leads to frustration and resentment. Each individual is a complex blend of experiences, beliefs, and personality traits, which makes genuine and lasting change of others a challenging endeavor. Instead, the focus should shift towards self-improvement. By cultivating self-awareness, empathy, and communication skills, one can foster an environment of understanding and growth within the relationship.
Taking responsibility for personal change is empowering. It encourages us to reflect on our own actions, reactions, and attitudes, fostering an atmosphere of personal accountability. This self-awareness can lead to healthier interactions and pave the way for positive changes in the relationship as a whole.
Ultimately, a harmonious and thriving relationship starts with the willingness to evolve as an individual. While we cannot control others, we have the power to control our responses, choices, and behaviors. By focusing on our own growth and nurturing a respectful and supportive environment, we pave the way for mutual growth and fulfillment in a partnership.
Blended Families Can Be Rewarding
Being in a blended family It may not always be easy, but it will be worth it! There will be hard times but there will also be many rewarding aspects of being in a blended family!
Being in a blended family It may not always be easy, but it will be worth it! Gayla Grace, author of “Quiet Moments for the Stepmom Soul” points out just a few of the many rewarding aspects of being in a blended family!
Ability to Persevere
Stepfamily relationships don't come together without effort. Even then, they might not be the relationships you envision, but if you keep moving in a forward direction, you will bask in the satisfaction that you persevered when it would have been easier to quit.
Skills to Fight Fair
Instead of hurling the last word at my husband, I began listening and considering his feelings and opinions. I learned how to express my needs and deal with conflict as it occurred, or step away and wait for a calm moment when necessary. Other relationships benefitted from the healthy conflict-resolution skills I learned in the early years of remarriage.
Joy in the Moment
Stepfamily relationships can move from hot to cold in a matter of seconds. Unpredictable situations taught me to embrace moments of love and laughter. I look for joy in the moment and savor it.
The Power to Make a Difference
Stepparents make a daunting decision to love someone else's child with few guarantees of what they’ll receive in return. When you least expect it, however, you'll recognize your influence in their lives. Your stepchild may never acknowledge your efforts, but if you work to be a positive influence, you can delight in knowing you've made a difference.
A Strong Marriage that Lasts
I love to gaze at the oak trees in our yard during storms. While other trees sway and break from strong winds, the oaks hardly move. Their deep roots and strong wood protect them from damage. The same is true of a stepfamily marriage. The storms of stepfamily trials help your relationship grow deep roots and strong branches. As you work through difficulties, you gain confidence to tackle whatever comes next. Eventually, your marriage is strong enough to master any storm.
Sometimes Being Right is the Wrong Answer
Needing to be right, by definition, means your partner must be wrong. You create a climate of you vs. me, as opposed to “us” against the world.
Needing to be right, by definition, means your partner must be wrong. You create a climate of you vs. me, as opposed to “us” against the world. It becomes a competition instead of a collaboration. It creates fertile ground for resentment to grow because no one wants to feel they are “wrong” all the time. A hostile cycle of score keeping and retaliation is set in motion that is detrimental to a happy relationship.
A fundamental flaw in this approach is that you both actually might be “right.” Most arguments aren’t about the facts, but about how each of you interprets those facts. A thermometer may measure the temperature at 68 degrees. The disagreement is about whether or not that is cold. The same is true about what’s messy, needy, silly, financially sound, etc.
A colleague, Dr. Terrence Real, says any fool can walk away from an argument when they know they are wrong. It takes a whole lot more to be able to stop arguing when you factually may be right. However, that is the key to having a successful relationship. You value your commitment to the relationship more than the need to prove the “rightness” of your position. The more you are able to do this, the happier your marriage will be.
Fearless Marriage Activities to Keep Your Love Alive:
Day One: Identify a repetitive argument you and your partner have. Examine the facts.
Day Two: Listen to your spouse’s position. If it fits the facts, accept it.
Day Three: Analyze what’s behind your need to be “right” for why it matters.
Day Four: Don’t comment on something you see as “wrong”–see what happens.
Day Five: Agree to disagree with your spouse instead of justifying or defending your viewpoint.
Day Six: Examine your expectations and find where you and your partner agree.
Day Seven: Act on what’s “right” for your marriage instead of what’s right for you.
Marry Christmas!
Between trying to get all the presents wrapped and make sure that the Christmas dinner is planned and perfectly prepared, we often forget one of the biggest gifts we have in our lives... our spouse.
With Christmas coming up, many of us are focused on the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. Between trying to get all the presents wrapped and make sure that the Christmas dinner is planned and perfectly prepared, we often forget one of the biggest gifts we have in our lives... our spouse.
Your marriage and your spouse are a gift to you, just as you are a gift to them.
This holiday season try to remember that marriage is a commitment to your spouse to love, respect, and cherish each other. Just as your appreciate a gift and give thanks, you should appreciate your spouse and express gratitude. Marriage is a chance to open up completely to another person, an opportunity to create emotional intimacy by opening up to each other. Just as we unwrap gifts with excitement, we should feel the same eagerness to "unwrap" our spouse and create that emotional intimacy.
Put aside the busy schedules and pressures of the holiday season and make time to connect with your spouse. Don't forget that their love, companionship, and commitment is a wonderful gift!
MARRY CHRISTMAS!
Gratitude is the best attitude.
When you think of the way you express and experience gratitude in your relationship, what comes to mind? Perhaps it’s kind words, heartfelt gestures, or a loving smile or touch.
When you think of the way you express and experience gratitude in your relationship, what comes to mind? Perhaps it’s kind words, heartfelt gestures, or a loving smile or touch. These are momentary expressions of the sentiment, but the fact is, the influence of a grateful mindset has a way of echoing throughout your entire relationship in a positive way that promotes a sense of harmony. We’re not saying it will prevent you from ever fighting again (conflict can be healthy, after all) but it can help you avoid the unnecessary ones that do more damage than good. Not sure what we mean? Keep reading.
Gratitude prevents you from taking each other for granted.
We’ve learned to live with a lot more uncertainty lately; we don’t know what tomorrow, or next week, or next year will bring. It’s not a given that you or your spouse will be there every day into the future, or what adversity you might go through. It’s not always pleasant to imagine, so instead, focus on how you can best cherish each other every day. Knowing life can change in the blink of an eye makes us less likely to want to spend time fighting about trivial things.
Gratitude sparks a cycle of positive interactions.
Dr. John Gottman’s “magical ratio” posits that in the happiest marriages, there are five positive interactions for every negative one. Regularly expressing genuine gratitude to each other means you’ll likely receive a positive response, evoking a positive response from you and so on. You’ll be less likely to get into a fight over something trivial if it’s sandwiched by kind words or some physical affection.
Gratitude helps you see the bigger picture.
In situations in where annoyance or anger would be the easy response, a lens of gratitude gives you the perspective shift you need to see the full context of the situation. It helps you zoom out to see the whole person, instead of zeroing in just one mistake or flaw. For example, if your spouse has a habit of going over the top with holiday decorations, you might shift your perspective to see their good intentions of wanting to give your family happy memories and a sense of tradition.
Gratitude boosts satisfaction.
Various studies in recent years have found that when partners feel more gratitude toward each other, they also feel more satisfied in their relationship. If you’re feeling more satisfied, you’re going to be less likely to nitpick at your spouse for the little things or let anger or bitterness bubble over the top. If you do have an issue, you’ll be better able to address it in an empathetic way and be more receptive to feedback from each other.
Gratitude counteracts resentment.
Regularly expressing gratitude to each other can temper the little annoyances and resentments that have a way of building up over time. Making an effort to thank each other for the specific things (“Hey, thanks for planning the meals this week, that really lightened my load this week.”) or the more general (“I’m really lucky to have you by my side.”) can help you both let go of irritation that might take root if you rarely show each other appreciation.
Choosing gratitude in the midst of anger, stress, or annoyance isn’t easy. In fact, it often takes conscious effort – maybe even practice. But a grateful mindset has the potential to spark a chain reaction of good vibes in your relationship, making it less likely that you’ll succumb to unnecessary fights that result in hurt feelings or resentment.
Your Marriage Is A Living Lesson For Your Kids
Parents, you could spend hours lecturing to your child about the benefits of being a 'good' person, but the reality is that your child needs to see you model these behaviors within the primary social unit a child experiences - the family.
Our children are constantly watching us. When they see their parents being good spouses the tone is set for their own interpersonal skills, emotional and social health, as well as their future relationships. After all, parents are the two most important people in a child's life and the way they treat each other teaches a child a lot about life's most important relationship.
Your marriage is the template for your child, so here are seven values your child is learning by observing your marriage:
Commitment. The basis of every successful marriage is commitment and dedication to each other. When life is good, it is easy to be patient and loving, but when life gets tough and you begin facing challenges, you could be tempted to let anger and blame creep into the marriage and weaken it. Your children watch your responses to life's hiccups, and more importantly, the way you treat each other through these times. Are you still committed to being loving, patient and understanding towards each other? As they grow into their own adult relationships, your children will call upon this template to guide them through the kinks of their own situations.
Respect and Apologizing. An unhealthy ego has destroyed many a marriage. A thriving marriage requires that spouses respect one another and that means learning to apologize when you are in the wrong. When children see that their parents' relationship is not ruled by their ego, or the 'I get the last word' syndrome, they learn to respect their own siblings and friends. Saying sorry (when appropriate), is then not viewed as a weakness, but as emanating from the strength of a secure spouse.
Appreciation. As a marriage gets busy with the obligations of life - work, children, career, finances, looking after aged parents and other personal and family responsibilities - couples often start to take each other for granted. One day blurs into the other and life gets monotonous. Couples forget to reconnect and take time out for each other. They forget to appreciate and be grateful for each other, and do not spare even a simple 'thank you'. Children need to see their parents demonstrate their affection and appreciation for each other through the use of kind words, compliments and thoughtful acts. This teaches a child the importance of being thankful and grateful, and encourages him to find ways to appreciate other family and friends.
Sharing. A marriage is like a tango...partners need to take turns to lead, to follow, come close but then also move apart again to leave space for individual expression! A strong marriage is one that demonstrates these qualities of sharing and teamwork and children learn these skills early in life when they are witness to their parents appropriately sharing all responsibilities of a household.
Dealing with disagreements. Having different opinions is a given in any relationship, yet this plays a critical role in the context of a marriage. When children see their parents address and resolve these disagreements in a manner that is respectful of each other, they learn that conflicts can be resolved without screaming, shouting, hitting or being mean. Children learn the importance of empathy and paying attention to another person's needs and point of view. Through the experience of watching their parents resolve conflict, children learn that disagreements are normal, inevitable, yet can be dealt with in safe, constructive and healthy ways.
Goal Setting and Planning. Companies are not the only ones to have goals; future-oriented families do too! As parents, part of your responsibility is to help your children appreciate the nuances of investing in the future quality of life that a family desires to enjoy. In particular, this means articulating and sharing goals around health, career, finances, entertainment, spiritual needs etc. How do we afford a new car? Where can we go for our next vacation? How can we all become healthier as a family? Appropriately involving children in identifying, setting and achieving goals as a family, encourages them to respect the fruits of your efforts.
Humor. Laughter bonds people and it has been said that "We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh." Humor in a marriage builds fun memories, erases the hard feelings and enhances the emotional intimacy of a marriage. When you laugh together, laugh at yourself and even at each other, your children learn to take life more positively. Correlating strongly with happiness and joy, humor strengthens the family bonds and these 'funny incidents and memories' will be recalled at family reunions and provide laughter for many years to come!
So, parents, you could spend hours lecturing to your child about the benefits of being a 'good' person, but the reality is that your child needs to see you model these behaviors within the primary social unit a child experiences - the family. It is here that they get a 'how-to manual' of being a kind, empathetic, resilient, positive and happy person.
From The Parenting Circle
Look for ways to move forward instead of ways out!
There will be times when you feel like you cannot move forward, like the fight is too big or too hard, or that you just don’t feel like working on it. It’s during these struggles that we encourage you to find a way forward instead of a way out.
Sometimes things in relationships can get really difficult!
This happens in all kinds of relationships, but especially in marriage. There will be times when you feel like you cannot move forward, like the fight is too big or too hard, or that you just don’t feel like working on it. There may even be times when you feel like looking for ways out of the relationship.
It’s during these struggles that we encourage you to find a way forward instead of a way out.
Finding ways forward can be easier said than done, so here’s some helpful tips!
1. Give Each Other Time And Space
After an argument with your partner, it’s important to give each other time and space. A little time and space can give you each a chance to calm down and consider the situation logically as well as emotionally.
2. Feel Your Feelings
When you take a break from your partner, allow yourself to feel your feelings and reflect on the situation. Once you both feel calmer, you may be ready to talk about the fight.
3. Use I Statements
To repair your relationship after an argument you need to be able to communicate effectively. When you explain things from your own perspective, your partner is less likely to get defensive, and more likely to listen.
4. Actively Listen
It is important to put down your phone, turn off the television, and make sure there are no other distractions. The focus should be on really understanding your partner’s point of view, not on what you want to say.
5. Take A Break If Needed
There is nothing wrong with taking a break from the conversation if you really need it, but using this tactic too often can interfere with the ability to repair effectively.
6. Apologize And Reconnect
An effective apology can go a long way towards repairing your relationship. To reconnect after the apology, you want to let your partner know that you are on the same side.
7. Make A Plan For The Future
By using what you learned during this process, you can now make a plan going forward to help you navigate future disagreements more effectively. Come up with a way that you can do things differently in the future so these needs are addressed.
"My Partner Is Driving Me Crazy"
Yes, there are times when your partner may frustrate you. That is a part of human nature.
Yes, there are times when your partner may frustrate you. That is a part of human nature. At Great Marriages, it is our goal to help you work through your frustration with each other (and possibly with yourself) and learn how to bring your relationship back on track.
Great Marriages offers one-on-one relationship mentors for couples in crisis:
Considering divorce
Financial stress
Marital discord
Anxiety
Non-communication
Intimacy issues
Infidelity
Our trained mentor couples have been through it all. If you are facing any of these, or other serious issues, please don’t give up. If there is any issue you are facing please let us know so that we can pair you with a mentor couple who is best suited to help you through this tough time.
IT IS NEVER TO LATE TO TRY TO SAVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP!
What are you thankful for?
Gratitude is an integral part of healthy relationships. The key to sparking healthy relationships with gratitude is to take the initiative…
At Great Marriages, we are thankful for:
Volunteers who give of their talents to help others in our community
Donors who make what we do possible
Passionate people who want to see our community thrive by strengthening and keeping families together
Resources we have to offer the community to grow in their relationships
Love
Family
THANKFULNESS AND GRATITUDE ARE KEY TO HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS!
When we appreciate our partners, we develop trust and respect. When we feel appreciated, we feel needed and encouraged. Gratitude is an integral part of healthy relationships. The key to sparking healthy relationships with gratitude is to take the initiative: “Instead of just waiting for the other person to make you feel good, you can jumpstart that cycle and take it into your own hands by focusing on what’s good in your relationship,” says Dr. Gordon. Start with small and easily achievable goals, such as giving your spouse five compliments a day, or simply smiling at them more often.
Gratitude is a skill that you cultivate—nurture it in yourself, and soon your will see positivity radiate back at you.
Source: Susan Heitler
NEED IDEAS TO GET YOU STARTED IN PRACTICING GRATITUDE?
Wake up every day and express to yourself what you are grateful for
Tell whoever you are with at the end of the day the 3 things you are most grateful for
Tell whoever you are with right now (significant other, friend, family member, etc.) the 3 things that you are most grateful for in this moment
Start a gratitude journal - Express gratitude in this journal every night by noting the things that you are grateful for, proud of, and excited about
Acknowledge other people and thank them for inspiring/helping/supporting you - oftentimes people wait their whole lives to be acknowledged (and yet it happens far too infrequently)!
Source: Andrew Merle
What is your spouse's love language?
Have you ever felt like your and your significant other are just not connecting? Are you trying to show love but they just aren't feeling it?
Have you ever felt like your and your significant other are just not connecting? Are you trying to show love but they just aren't feeling it? According to Dr. Chapman, there are five universal ways that all people express and interpret love. Through his more than 30 years of couples counseling, Dr. Chapman has noticed specific patterns in the way partners communicate — and it turns out that most of the population express and interpret love in the same five ways, according to his observations. The 5 Love Languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Receiving Gifts
Acts of Service
Physical Touch
The Currency of Trust
When it comes to building a strong relationship of any kind: trust matters. That applies to friendships, romantic relationships, family, coworkers, everyone!
When it comes to building a strong relationship of any kind: trust matters. That applies to friendships, romantic relationships, family, coworkers, everyone! Trust is the currency of relationships, especially romantic ones.
According to David Horsager, author of The Trust Edge: How Top Leaders Gain Faster Results, Deeper Relationships and a Stronger Bottom Line, trust is a confident belief in someone or something. It’s the confident belief in someone to do what’s right and to deliver on what is promised.
Horsager’s research has identified eight pillars which are key to building and supporting trust:
Clarity. People trust the clear and mistrust the ambiguous.
Compassion. People put faith in those who care beyond themselves.
Character. People notice those who do what’s right over what’s easy.
Competency. People have confidence in those who stay fresh, relevant and capable.
Commitment. People believe in those who stand through adversity. In this instance, actions definitely speak louder than words.
Connection. People want to follow, buy from and be around friends. It’s easier to trust a friend than a stranger, so look for ways to engage with people and build relationships.
Contribution. People immediately respond to results. By giving of yourself and your talents, you are investing in others.
Consistency. People love to see the little things done consistently.
Remember, it’s not likely that you’ll get just one big chance to be trusted. Instead, you’ll have thousands of small ones. Just like a savings account, when you respond consistently you will see the results build up over time.
Paraphrased from First Things First