The rules of golf and the rules of marriage have more in common than you might think!
GOOD & BAD LIES
We aren’t talking about truthfulness, we are talking about where the ball lands. In golf, you hit the ball from where it lies, even if that is in the bunker. In marriage, you have bunkers and water hazards but you also have smooth greens and perfect lies. There is good in bad in golf and marriage and you have to take both for what they are and figure out how to make the best shot from where you are.
BE POLITE
There are entire books dedicated to golf etiquette. Half the game is the rules that don’t involve you hitting the ball at all, it’s about how you interact with the other players. Marriage is no different! If you can show other golfers the courtesy to say please, thank you, excuse me, and go ahead, you can show that courtesy to your spouse. Even FORE! is admitting your are wrong and saying sorry. Your spouse deserves the same.
START FRESH
Every round of golf is a chance to play your best round yet. You take what you’ve learned from every round before and you apply it to this one. You don’t have to carry your bad shots from the last round onto this scorecard, you can learn from them and do better this time. The reason you keep going on the course is to play a little better than the last round. Your marriage should be the same, you should start every day fresh and ready to learn from past mistakes without carrying them with you.
DRIVE FOR SHOW, PUTT FOR DOUGH.
Are you guilty of going to the driving range but never practicing your short game? In golf and in marriage you need the right balance of big gestures (drives) and small everyday acts (chips & putts). If you can have a consistently strong short game (taking out the trash, helping with dinner, saying “I love you”) then you will get a better score each round. A hole in one is exciting and flashy, but how often can you really do it? A consistent short game is more realistic and acheivable!
EVERYONE NEEDS A MULLIGAN.
Mulligans are one of the most valuable (if unofficial) parts of golf. Sometimes you just mess up and it can’t be fixed, and you need to take a step back and try again. You have to have a golf partner who is kind enough to grant you one and enough humility to ask for one. Marriage is the same: sometimes you are going to make a mess of things, sometimes your spouse is. It is important for you both to be gracious and forgiving at times, humble and apologetic at others. In golf you get a mulligan and you don’t make that same mistake again, but you don’t have to carry it on your scorecard and your partner doesn’t hold it over you. In marriage you can admit you made a mistake and ask forgiveness to try again, and your spouse can look past the mistake and give you the grace of moving past it.
THE GOAL ISN’T TO WIN; IT’S TO LEARN.
Sure, there is competition in golf, but really you are not trying to beat others but rather yourself. You are trying to have one less stroke than the last round. To make a longer drive than the last hole. To just keep getting better! You invest in your golf game with practice and learning new skills to improve your game. Imagine if you put the same dedication into your marriage. Just like you will see improvement in your golf game from learning and practice, you will see them same returns if you practice loving your spouse better and investing time into learning how to be a better spouse to them. You can’t “win” in marriage but you can always learn!